Save it for the tourists, Reindeer, because there is no way I'm buying that "surprised" act. Talking like, "oh, it's Christmas already? I didn't even have my good horns on!" when we all know you're back there marking your calendar, counting down the days. You can't hide how you really feel about Christmas forever, Reindeer. My guess? You actually were surprised one year, but then you saw the picture and felt like it really made you look thinner, so now you do it every fucking year, like the weird girl in high school that everyone knew was getting plastic surgery the minute she turned 18.
So don't think it's going to work on me. I know you wanted to come over my house last night and give me that iPod. Merry fucking Christmas, Reindeer.
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