The Internet: Helping Ugly People Get Married Since 1993

Congrats to the lovely Caroline, from USO Girls, and the not-so-photogenic but all-around good guy, TSO, getting married. The proposal was on This Ain't Hell and she said yes in comment #5. Way to go! Drop by and leave them an encouraging comment, or else they'll shake you down for a wedding present.

Some Non-Phonies For a Gloomy Sunday

One of Those Days (Borrowed from Oddlyspecific.com)

Anyone else bummed out about the so-called Tea Party Nation convention taking place next month in Tennessee? Charging over 500 bones to take part in a "populist" movement is about as appropriate as a Massachusetts Democratic Party campaign ad. The whole "We're Just Being Capitalists" argument doesn't really cut it, as politics is supposed to be about what's good for the country, not what's good for your pocketbook. The fact that money gets so involved both in DC and the grassroots leads to a whole slew of corruption and cronyism both at the local and national level. I thought the Tea Party movement was supposed to address this problem, but what do I know, I don't even live in the country anymore.

So here's some non-phonies to clean up your head: Army of Dude has a good description of vets going through college, and Vox Veterana is up and running after a long period of disillusionment.

July 4th

Obviously I'm a bit biased being an American, but I still think the Revolutionary War and signing of the Declaration of Independence was one of the most historically significant periods in civilization. Not so much because of the practical aspects (wanting to pay less taxes, keeping the King of England out of our face), but rather the ideals that average citizens actually had individual rights and that government existed by permission of the people. It was a concept that had been gaining steam in Europe during the Renaissance, and it all sort of culminated in the American colonies in the late 18th century. The history of civilization has been incredibly violent and depressing with governments which function as tyrannies, and we are lucky to not live in such a state of despair. So Tom, Ben, George, and the rest of the guys, thanks for July 4th.

Toby Keith is the Shit

Not only does he have decent music in a world of douche-scarf'd pop rock, but he does a lot of USO shows. Usually these are on the mega-fobs due to the logistical challenges and threat levels preventing the entertainers from going to the more spartan outposts. But Toby Keith recently went to Vampire 06's FOB near the Af-Pak border. Read the whole story here.

Everyone Loves an Underdog

Anyone else put on their fancy weekend hats and watch the Kentucky Derby? Mine That Bird (50-1) broke away on the final stretch showing that you can still succeed as a longshot in our country. Watch the replay, it's pretty cool.

Much Obliged

Too kill some time, I've spent the last two months kind of driving around the country in my truck with some clothes in the back. So thanks to everyone who put me up at their place or who made an offer. If I missed seeing ya, don't worry, I plan on being a free-loading derelict for the rest of my life, so I'll hit you up next time. Thanks so much!

Note: Hopefully, my frequent couch-crashings wasn't the reason for this EPA press conference...

Throwing Caution to the Wind, Caroline Auctions off Jamie on Teh Internet

Jamie of USO Girls fame is being auctioned off for a date in the Dallas-Fort Worth area to benefit with a starting bid of $140. All proceeds go to Defenders of Freedom which sends care packages to deployed troops. I've met Jamie and she is attractive, intelligent, enjoys drinking, and has a car. So what the hell else do you need for motivation? Place a bid before some 50 year-old weirdo with an anime fetish takes her out to the Golden Corral buffet.

More information...right here!

Havin' Fun Teabagging

Whee! It was a pretty rotten day in DC unless rainy, cold, and nowhere to go to the bathroom is your thing. But good times were had yukkin it up with TSO, Jonn Lilyea, Hooper, and 509th Bob at the DC Protest just outside the White House. There was supposed to be a truck full of tea bags or something but the permit process got all dorked up. No one said that limited government activists would be good at organizing these type of events.

It seemed like most of the people present today harbored similar sentiments regarding the catastrophic debt being incurred, the futility of bailouts, too much power in the Treasury Department, etc. But the problem with the legions of bitters like myself is that there aren't any leaders stepping up to the challenge of turning this grass roots phenomenon into political effect. Maybe I spent too much time in the military to appreciate a bottom-up organizational structure. Here's a couple of the displays I enjoyed plus links to sites with a lot more on the DC Protest:
Related to the burning question of this tax season: Will Geithner not fuck up his taxes this time around?

Wheelbarrow full of Pork

• Age of Hooper has good pics (including Code Pink trying to go incognito!)
• Jonn Lilyea has pics plus video of the hipster counter-protest
• Wonkette delivers the snark
• David Weigel captures the crazies you are bound to find at any protest
• JammieWearingFool has info on someone throwing tea-bags on the White House lawn which required an explosives team to check. That's productive!

Military Nerds Get To Finally Join Starfleet Academy

When I was in the Navy, I was a nuke and therefore in the company of many other poindexters. Some people don't understand that there is a huge WoW-playing, BCG-wearing, Trek-loving culture to the military, but it's definitely there. That's why I'm sure the pre-screening of the new Star Trek and a visit by the cast was well-received in Kuwait. Story and pics here, thanks Hollywood!

Getting Bagged

I think we've already been "tea-bagged" by the colossal sack of the Stimulus "package", but a witty sign nonetheless. Excellent political journalist David Weigel has more shots of the D.C. protest at his website, and Jonn Lilyea is liveblogging thing. Good shit.

FAA Tapes Reveals Sully Kept Cool Under Pressure

Phenomenal that he managed to keep from panicking after a bird strike over a populated area. MSNBC has a full transcript of Flight 1549 and Air Traffic Control at La Guardia before the plane was landed in the Hudson River. I figured it was going to be more like Bill Paxton flipping out in Aliens (Game Over man!). A testament to his professionalism.

Ambassador Crocker Gets Presidential Medal of Freedom

David Ignatius of WaPo heaps praise and talks about the Ambassador's experience in the Middle East. Small Wars Journal opines on the Ambassador to Iraq's service:

BTW - Ryan Crocker is an official SWJ hero too - the right man, in the right job, at the right time - it does not get any better than that folks.

I disagree on one thing with SWJ. Because, our nation was very lucky to have such an experienced public servant leading diplomacy efforts during those extremely carnage-ridden months of early 2007. As a wise man once said, it's better to be lucky than good.

Happy Birthday Elvis

Elvis, wherever he may be, is probably the most influential individual on American music. The Ramones, Jimi Hendrix, and Black Sabbath might be incredibly influential as well, but no one tops the king. Luckily, my mother's birthday falls on the same day as Elvis' so we never forget about her. Happy B-day, Moms!

Breitbart's Big Hollywood: Where You Been All My Life

If for some strange reason you enjoy reading this humble blog, then you're probably as obsessed with movies, politics, and jokes in poor taste as I am. That's why Andrew Breitbart's new project "Big Hollywood" is an interesting new internet hangout for a blogosphere that is being rapidly taken over by pointy-headed think-tank nerds from DC.

The site got launched today, and it's already got one of my favorite celebrities, Greg Gutfeld, discussing in his usual satire how Pink Floyd incited an anti-communist revolution with The Wall. It is also has a lengthy rant against liberalism from actor Gary Graham. Who is this Graham you ask yourself? Oh, he was just in a little-known movie called Robot Jox, quite possibly the greatest movie evah!

Anyways, here's what he had to say:

I don’t want to get along with the Left. I want to take them down. I want to expose their idiocy for what it is and reveal it as a harmful, dangerous succession of lies and deceptions. My friends say that that effort, aside from being fruitless, will cost me work. It will cost me my career. And I say Wait-a-minute, Bucko. Those folks who founded this country were willing to risk not only their careers, but their property, their families, their very lives…the least I can do in standing up for our precious freedoms is risk a silly television career. Not to compare myself with the brilliant thinkers who declared themselves independent of England and framed our Constitution…but those were some pretty pissed off dudes too. Compared to that, loss of a little TV or movie work seems pretty inconsequential. So in honor of Pissed Off Americans past and present, I rant.

Not very subtle, but it's a nice change of pace from the usual anti-American rabble you hear from Hollywood snobs. Consider me in the tank for the Big H!

Help! Under Attack By Fatso in Red Suit

Evil Robot Santa Takes No Prisoners

According to NORAD, some overweight glutton named Santa Claus is careening towards North America under the guise of bringing "gifts" to children who've been good. We never determined if Santa was a communist in disguise or a plutocrat seeking to proliferate over-consumption, but the end is definitely nigh. Before I succumb to my wounds, I'd like to wish a happy holidays to all the people serving time overseas so that I can sit on my duff blogging half-assedly, drinking cheap beer, and awaiting the inevitable yuletide violence. Check them out:

Iraq:
Bad Dogs and Such
Fobbits Need Ice Cream Too (just got back!)
Navy Gal (just got back too!)
Peace and War Times
Pink's War
S4 at War
Something on the Staff
War on Big Tobacco

Afghanistan:
Afghanistan Shrugged
Embrace the Suck
The Left Captain

I tried to send one of those video greetings to the troops at Blackfive, but I'm not sure if they're going to make a Xmas video like they did last year. Not that my mug is what anyone would want to see on Christmas, but I kept it short and my pants were on the whole time.

OlGreyDog7 Gets Visited By the Stork

Accurate Depiction of the Reproductive Cycle

Longtime commenter, OlGreyDog7, and friend of mine who served with me at the embassy in Iraq, is now father to a bouncing baby boy named "Harlon". Congrats!

Note: Before anyone goes into the gutter and gets the wrong idea that "Hey, weren't you guys in Iraq 9 months ago?", recall that there is a two-week R&R period every deployment.

Credit Where It's Due on Thanksgiving

As the hostage crisis continues in Mumbai (Subrookie provided a good twitter feed as well), it's time to thank the military, intelligence operatives, law enforcement officials, diplomats, and aid workers who all contribute globally to ensure that our great civilization does not grind to a halt at the hands of terrorism. The plague of suffering and violence knows no international boundaries, as Bali, Amman, New York, London, Baghdad, Kabul, Islamabad, and many more cities from different cultures and continents have all been targeted in the last decade.

The global community should be thankful for people like Hemant Karkare, head of Mumbai's anti-terror squad, who was killed in the line of duty yesterday and is being hailed as a martyr by the Indian press. We should also be thankful that the Iraqi Parliament passed the Status of Forces Agreement today, which will help facilitate a peaceful exodus of coalition forces with adequate time for transition in a country that was once at the brink. The wags who predicted the Saigon-style evacuation from a country in chaos were thankfully proven wrong.

Mudville Gazette has a comprehensive list of bloggers who are forward deployed, and we should all give them kudos, because the stabilization of troubled states ensures that the enemies of modern civilization do not have a base to spread their viral ideas. They offer their own thanks, but surely you can drop the drumstick for two seconds and give 'em some credit.

Abby Takes Care of Business

The Art of War

Paintings from the combat zone are interesting and provocative, but scarce to come by. While looking on the blogs for information on the IZ, I came across Ramblings from a Painter. He works for the State Dept., and he posted one of his sketches. It looks like a Peruvian Triple Canopy guard at one of the checkpoints at the embassy:
Really captures the ambiance. I like it. A pleasant memento from an area of conflict.

USS Michael Monsoor

Pretty cool. Medal of Honor reciptient, Michael Monsoor, was a Navy Seal KIA in Ramadi. The new Zumwault-class Destroyer will be named after him and Some Soldier's Mom has the full press release. There have been very few who have received our nation's highest honor this decade, and this is a much more fitting show of respect than getting some lousy park in the exurbs named after you.

Tough Girl 101 Needs $$$ For A Good Cause

Tough Girl 101 wants to participate in the Bataan Memorial Marathon in New Mexico, which honors Americans and Filipinos who were coerced into the grisly and brutal death march in 1942 of the same name. My gramps was involved in the liberation of the Philipines, so for me it's a no-brainer to support something like this. Unfortunately, the rigorous physical training would get in the way of my smoking habit, so do the next best thing and give her money via Paypal to do it for the rest of us lazy bums. Tough Girl is a broke college student, so if she was like me she eats Ramen noodles and Budget Gourmet everyday and doesn't have insurance on her car that leaks oil all the damn time. Help her out with some funding before the feds seize your money for something stupid.