The Secret Life of the American Teenager: Christian Teeny Boppers Run Amok

Guess which Teen Got Knocked Up

The new ABC family show The Secret Life of the American Teenager is from the creator of 7th Heaven, so wholesome Christian values resembling a modern day Leave it to Beaver were to be expected. Unfortunately, it was an outrage of epic proportions when we were treated to a girl who got knocked-up at band camp, the young hunky football star who lusted after a new Jezebel when his virtuous girlfriend wouldn't "put out", and even the grandiose wisdom of Molly Ringwald was unable to salvage the moral character of this show.

An examination of the official blog affiliated with this televised cesspool shows comments from young lasses, which highlights a decaying society:

• ive already had my 1st kiss (12) and have had sex (15) but its called using a condom i mean please. ppl (LT Nixon Comment: can someone please explain what "ppl" means?)
• I had a baby at 16. I know what it's like to go through something like this. There is one thing though that always got me mad. People showing shame in the baby, when it isn't even his fault. What me and the father(who is NO longer in our lives) did was a mistake NOT the baby.
• I kinda like the show. I agree that not all teens have sex on there mind, but i am not any better b/c i am pregnet and 16 :-/ Its very hard to tell your parents & the hardest part was telling my boy friend.

Ye gods, is there no hope for America? Please take heed to not hang around the blog for lengthy periods or leave racy comments if you are male, because you will likely be tagged by the FBI as a possible Class III Sex Offender.

For a more appropriate way to conduct yourself as a teeny bopper, please view this clip from the classic Troma film, Toxic Avenger:

Go Canada, eh!

July 1st is Canada day, and to commemorate our friendly neighbors, feast your eyes on 10 awesome things about the Great White North.

You Can't Do That on Television: The best kids show of all time

Low Drinking Ages (19 in most provinces): Ensures a wider cross-section of women at the clubs that are permitted to get plastered

D.O.A.: Great Punk Rock from up north

Youppi:The lovable French Canadian rascal

Trailer Park Boys: A very underrated and hilarious TV show

Montreal Gentleman's Clubs: It doesn't get any better

Rush: Try listening to Tom Sawyer after drinking a big bottle of cough syrup...it's a trip!

Molson XXX: The super-high alcohol content makes up for the nasty taste

Troops in Afghanistan: Canada has supported the ISAF since the beginning

Alberta Tar Sands: Oil reserves in a country that isn't run by some dictator or a bunch of American-hating nuts

Being a Terrorist in Your Mom's Basement

Reason talks about the Reynard project, which is an intelligence effort that seeks to examine gaming worlds, such as World of Warcraft, for potential terrorist activity. While it is well known that terrorism can be bred in cyber-communities, these type of studies give way too much credit to a bunch of foulmouth nerds that need to be wedgied...not feared. The real question is whether or not TSO will utilize his WoW account to form a band of Wolverines ala Red Dawn to crush these online terrorists.




Can You Spot which of the Two Images involves Terrorist Activity?

The Energy Policies of the Stone Age

Who needs Oil and Coal when You Got Cholera

Don't expect any U.S. Senators to offer relevant energy policies for America as McClatchy Watch notes that Harry Reid has stated that oil and coal "makes us sick". Perhaps the Senator wants to take civilization to the nostalgic days of the pre-industrial era where people were slaughtering each other for scarce resources on the American frontier. Maybe he is reminiscing towards the days of cholera epidemics in 19th century Europe, because who needs oil and coal to power water treatment facilities as long as some species of bird I've never heard of is safe from mankind's footprint.

For far too long, energy policy in America has been shaped by a pack of rhetoric-laden NIMBY environmentalists, who want civilization to dwell in the stone age and place too much stock in energy solutions like wind and solar which just don't provide enough juice. Nuclear power in America has been sandbagged by a bunch of crazies who rely on Jane Fonda-like rhetoric to convince the American public that the next Godzilla is just around the corner. Drilling in ANWR would only require 2,000 of the 19 million acres in the refuge, yet there is political pressure to not let this happen. Time to start basing energy policy on continuous improvement of energy efficiency, new technology for power generation, and using resources available to us. Why is this such a debated fucking issue?

Bad Blood Abound

Like the time I wore the "No Fat Chicks" shirt to the Take Back the Night rally, it's getting ugly with a whole lot of emotion being flung like feces. Sometimes it's good to be a moderate and to sit on the sidelines. Also, Laura Ingraham is deeply aggravating the problem, IMHO. This is difficult to watch, what do you think?

Iraq News (1 July)

The Good:

• Civilian fatalities are down in Iraq for June to 448, Iraqi officials have noted
• $100M has been allocated to Sadr City reconstruction from Baghdad's government
• Oil contracts are being made available to 35 international companies for six of Iraq's oil fields. Iraq is tied with Iran for having the most oil reserves at #2 (Saudi Arabia is #1)
• Jordan has named its first diplomatic envoy to post-Saddam Iraq
  

The Bad:

• 4 Baghdad judges have been targeted with extremist violence, and the head judge in Sadr City has been injured along with his family
• The transfer of security responsibility to the Iraqis in Diwaniyah Province has been delayed due to bad weather
• Aswat al-Iraq reports that the government-funded paper Al-Sabah and the mouthpiece of the Dawa party (Prime Minister Maliki's political party) are furious at the government for not providing adequate electricity during the hot Iraqi summer. Iraqis have resorted to buying gasoline on the black-market as well (long utilized as a way to fund the Mahdi Army). If these government-friendly papers are saying it's bad, you can only imagine what the average citizen has to say

The Ugly:

• The Rand report on the failure to adequately plan for post-invasion Iraq is available
• The Pentagon has ordered KBR to check the electric wiring for all buildings under their supervision in Iraq following the electrocution of many service members. Yo, Mr./Mrs. KBR electrician, check my old office in the embassy (lights smoked 2 times and one small fire)
• More ISAF troops have died in Afghanistan this month than Iraq for the second straight month

Diwaniyah Turnover delayed (graphic from AFP)

Obama or Die! (from Fire and Brimstone)

Obama is shamelessly pandering to the evangelical base by promising $500M bucks of your money to buy votes and influence from a bunch of smarmy mega-church preachers who have no business in the public eye. Obama plans to enhance Bush's controversial Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives to throw taxpayer dollars down the tubes on abstinence programs, how the earth is only 5,000 year olds, and other stupid shit. Breitbart has the details:

Reaching out to evangelical voters, Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama is announcing plans that would expand President Bush's program steering federal social service dollars to religious groups and—in a move sure to cause controversy—support their ability to hire and fire based on faith.

Charitable organizations that are faith-based have been crucial to society in the past, and this is America and an individual is entitled to their own opinion about religion (be it Jesus, Xenu, the return of the Mahdi to cleanse mankind of its sins, or a comet that will take you to salvation), but don't expect others to pay for it.

This is a prime example of the pitfall of democracy as politicians make ridiculous promises to dip into the overspent public coffers to scratch people's backs.

Not to fear, More Abstinence-related Government Propaganda is on the Way!