Is it just me, or are baby animals really being dicks recently?

I had a thought last night, Baby Elephant, and it involved you pulling out all the stops to get me on your side. That thought was that I hate you, Baby Elephant. All you do is stand in your African shangri-la with your trunk and your ears and your little baby elephant smile, and I'm just supposed to sit here in my crumbling empire and take it. It seems like you aren't alone, either, as baby animals everywhere are really taking a turn for the worse. Well guess what, Baby Elephant, I'm not going to let you use the fact that you are a minor as an excuse for your shitty behavior. I know you think you're a star but put the fucking ears away, YOU AREN'T DUMBO, BABY ELEPHANT. If you are going to act like a hardened criminal, it's time you learn the cold hard truths of the world.

And yeah, I know you thought you could get away with it because I already did elephants, but fuck you, they're my rules and I can break them whenever the fuck I want.

P.S. Don't even think about growing up to be friends with a dog, you cynical media whore. And if you do, and the dog gets a spinal cord injury, WALK AWAY.