I went all the way to Tasmania to meet a Tasmanian devil I met online because I thought he was going to be super awesome. But instead of seeing the guy who was in the picture he had posted, I got this small dog-looking marsupial. Quite frankly, I was pretty disappointed, because if an animal is going to take the time to get to know me online, the least they can do is be honest with me.
So fuck you, Tasmanian Devil. Don't give me that "I know I was lying to you but look how hard I'm trying now" look, because I'm going to need a formal apology, AND IT BETTER NOT COME IN THE FORM OF YOU USING YOUR WHISKERS TO DETECT PREY IN THE DARK. I know all of your tricks, Tasmanian Devil. Your reign of terror is over.
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