Some Sheize Pr0n to Kick Off the Weekend

A German co-worker shared this video with me during a discussion focused on Kitsch 90s music. If you're looking for creepy euro-industrial dancing set to schlocky bass beats, you've come to the right place!

Surviving the Supreme Court Schnoozefest... with Gwar

This bullshit about the Supreme something or other is #1 on Memeorandum? It must be a pretty slow day.

The guys at TAH have some choice words about Major Bonehead who refused to deploy because he hasn't seen Obama's birth certificate, but other than that, it's pretty dull out here on the internet. So here's an old Gwar video to get over the hump. And if you know who Gwar is (or have ever been showered in fake blood at one of their concerts), then you probably have a VHS copy of Army of Darkness sitting around and are wondering why kids today are such little weenies.

Out-of-Office Reply (Isan Edition)

Heading to Northeastern Thailand for a few days to see the countryside and hopefully be an extra in this music video. Internet is always a bit spotty up there, so don't think I'm a dick for blowing you off

-Nixon

Numero Uno with a Bullet

Not sure how much of the readership is into Country, but here's a new one I felt was appropriate. It's John Rich sounding the populist alarm with a song that certainly relates to our modern day woes: "Shuttin Detroit Down". Even though the reasons for Detroit's decline are numerous, you get the basic gist. The fat cats in DC are bailing out bankers and the obligatory "bossman", but everyone else gets boned. I have a soft spot for country music, but even if you don't like it, the song is way better than C-list celebrities pledging their souls on the Altar of Obama. Good tune for this uprising movement we keep hearing about.

Acrassicauda Makes it Into America, Gets a Guitar From Metallica

Good news. Acrassicauda, the excellent metal band that had to flee Iraq during the worst of the religious-fueled violence, has been granted asylum in the states and got to meet Metallica (that's the greatest band of all time, not like I'm biased). From NYT:

And on Sunday night, two days after the last of the band’s four members was resettled in the United States, they enjoyed what any metal fan would have to call heaven: bearhugs and “Wow, dude” heart-to-hearts backstage with Metallica at the Prudential Center in Newark. It probably wasn’t necessary for James Hetfield, Metallica’s lead singer, to surprise them after the show by handing over one of his guitars, a black ESP, and signing it “Welcome to America”; their minds were already blown.

“That’s for keeping the faith,” Mr. Hetfield said, adding as he disappeared with his entourage down a corridor, “Write some good riffs.”

This brings up the question of why more Iraqi refugees (not just the ones who can thrash) aren't allowed to settle in the United States (particularly those who helped us out). There's been less than 20,000 a year, despite the fact that there is already a large Iraqi community in Dearborn, Michigan which could easily assimilate more. Following the fall of Saigon, 135,000 refugees were allowed into America and the Vietnamese community in Los Angeles/Orange County quickly rose to affluence. Clearly, a revamping of our immigration policy, which is a bureaucratic clusterfuck, is needed. The Whitehouse.gov website has some terse language addressing immigration, but it's probably on the backburner as Obama feebly struggles to save the economy by running up the national debt.

Our nation has done well over the past 400 or so years because the best people from all over the world who have the courage to start a new life have crossed onto our shores. No reason to stop that now. A new metal band to electrify the genre highlights this point.

Late Nite Tunes: The Rev - Psychobilly Freakout

Great song from a young Reverend Horton Heat. Been trying to do this song on Guitar Hero 2 to help quit smoking, but it keeps kicking my ass. Maybe I should get help from this 8-year old.

Why Wasn't Metallica Invited to the Obama Concert?

MSNBC talks about the feel-good vibes of politically-correct, eco-friendly rockstars jamming for Obama at a pre-inaug event:

"Despite the enormity of the task that lies ahead, I stand here today as hopeful as ever that the United States of America will endure — that it will prevail, that the dream of our founders will live on in our time," the president-elect said at the conclusion of a musical extravaganza that featured U2, Beyonce, Bruce Springsteen and a host of other stars.

Zzzz. I bet there was nary a beach ball nor a vixen flashing her tits at this event, despite the fact that Pro-Obama lefties are hailing this as a "New Woodstock". If only Metallica was there to play "Leper Messiah", that would've set a more truthful tone for the coming administration:

Hope and Change with GG Allin

Since so many people are doing the "Make your own Obamicon" that their server is on the verge of crashing, I figured I'd jump on the bandwagon too! Who better to get out a campaign message than deceased punk rocker GG Allin.

Schlocky Christmas Videos

Since someone requested the classic supergroup Band Aid video, here it is:

Well no one requested it, but I needed an excuse to post this deliciously cheesy vid.

Important Question Time: Is Santa Claus a Commie or a Heartless Capitalist?

A bloke from Australia suggests that Jolly Old St. Nick is really a communist trojan horse unleashed on the masses, and that he should be stopped by any means necessary. From The Australian (by way of Wonkette):

Soon Father Christmas will rise from his underground base in the Arctic like a missile rising from its silo – to launch his attack on every western city. He’ll fly under the radar. No jets will take off to shoot the commie bastard down. No Star Wars barrier will activate. Nothing to stop him dropping a nuke down the White House chimney. Don’t let your kiddies near him. Blast him out of the skies.

But it would be rise to call upon the yuletide wisdom of The Vandals Christmas album where they parody the famous socialist-punkers, Crass. From "I Don't Believe in Santa Claus":

I don't believe in Santa Clause-
his corporate image forced upon
the blinded spending masses,
to enslave the lower classes

with obligatory gifts that serve to cleanse
a year of guilt and shame.
One token gesture justifies
the apathetic, hypnotized.

Leaving them to be Kris Kringle's slaves.
Buy! Buy! I won't do it.
The seasons obligation has not my participation.
Buy! Buy! I won't do it.
The money hungry mating call of corporate swine.

I'm going with The Vandals, but what do you think? Is our beloved bearded fatso a comrade or a stooge? Or you could just go with the Westboro Baptist Church interpretation and say we're on a sleigh ride to eternal damnation.

Metallica Video Hits Hard on Cost of War

There's always a lot to be upset about if you're a Metallica fan. Cutting their hair short, the band's misguided war against MP3s and Napster, and of course that abominable turd of an album St. Anger. So naturally, I was fairly cynical about their new single "Day That Never Comes" when it started getting radio play.

But, that was before I saw the video. It goes great with the song, and the futility of war theme that did them well in great tunes like "One" and "Disposable Heroes" works in its modern day context. The battlefield looks suspiciously like the Mojave Desert in California, rather than Iraq or A-Stan, but it's cool they did a video on modern day vets. No wonder Suspect liked them so much. The song doesn't have the tone of death as well as the legendary "Orion" (aka The Greatest Song Evah!) but, hey, we'll take what we can get sans Cliff Burton.

Iranian Regime Continues Oppression of Excellent Music

A metal resurgence in Iran appears to have caught the eye of the fundamentalist thugs who are in power. Our Persian brothers and sisters in the metal militia are being rounded up for gearing up in "Satanic" outfits [Javno sourced from The Drudge Report):

Police have arrested 49 people this week in a northern Iranian city during a crackdown on "satanic" clothes, IRNA news agency reported on Thursday.
The measures are the latest in a country-wide campaign against Western cultural influence in the Islamic Republic, where strict dress codes are enforced.

"Police confronted rascals and thugs who appeared in public wearing satanic fashions and unsuitable clothing," Qaemshahr city police commander Mahmoud Rahmani told IRNA.

In principle, this is the same as Tipper Gore and her group of busybody DC wives trying to shut down culture through the Parents Music Resource Center back in the 80s. Demonizing musical genres as offensive, Satanic, or whatever has been tried before and will no doubt fail.

Recession Blogging!

Now that it's official, let's kick off our malaise with a Subhumans tune entitled "So Much Money". See you on the unemployment lines!

The Ultimate Stocking Stuffer: Barry Manilow + Teh 80s

Now that you've finished gorging yourself on Grandma's stuffing, it's time to start thinking mindless consumerism to reboot our shitty economy. One album that's fun for the whole fam is Barry Manilow's 80s CD, which is running commercials every 3 fucking minutes during my TV time. In response to Rick-Rolling going mainstream, Manilow takes on Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up". He also sings "Careless Whisper", a karoke favorite amongst drunk sailors for reasons beyond my comprehension, and he promises to butcher "I Just Called to Say I Love You". If Stevie Wonder weren't blind, I'm sure he show some Motown attitude and punch Barry right in his goofy face. Why the hell is Manilow-mania sweeping the nation anyways? Did I miss something?

Godzilla-sized Manilow Terrorizes The Hilton in Vegas

Death Metal Has Paid Its Dues

Wek has a post about the importance of Death Metal to Generation X culture and its origin in Florida. Of Morbid Angel, he says:

Death Metal filled a canyon sized void in hard music at the time. Hair Metal owned the airwaves for most of the 80's, Metallica torched their head-banging fans by giving us ballads and Seattle bands made guitarists ashamed for knowing scales. These Floridians couldn't be bothered with what was popular, they just wanted to bust ear drums and shred.

This is much better than whatever is passing for music these days. Check out this latest POS from Hot Chicks with Douchebags:
Land Rovers, Bleached Blonde Emo Hair, and a pig costume. What the hell is matter with you kids.

Late Nite Tunes: Social Distortion - Another State of Mind

Hopefully you all are enjoying the weekend in "Another State of Mind", just not operating a vehicle or heavy machinery, of course. Here's a pin-up babe for the road from Viva's Gallery by way of the great site Porn for Troops.

Heavy Metal Iran

With tunes like this, Iran is not alone

Presently, the religious fanatics continue their reign in Iran, despite their oil-based economy collapsing. Even the promise of Obamamania isn't enough to convince the powers that be in Iran to become more moderate. But, like any oppressive regime throughout history, there is hope that the people will throw off the shackles of their tormentors in a fit of V-guitar solo rage. People living under the Soviet regime were clamoring for blue jeans and Michael Jackson around the time it fell apart, and now some Persians seem to have caught the metal bug. From Coilhouse (by way of Reason):

The music seems to find a way to get out. Iran’s regime is among the most repressive, forcibly cutting metal fan’s hair and crushing concerts outright. So the bands take it online, like this particularly raw piece from Arthimoth...It is also a reminder that alternative cultures have no borders, and that globalization doesn’t move in just one direction. Thirty years from now, metalheads worldwide may remember a day when a faltering genre was revived by powerful new influences. When it comes to the human need to be moved by song or cry out in rage, there is no They.

I'm liking these Arthimoth guys already, mostly because it's cool to hear cookie monster lyrics, and you have to respect their dedication to the cause amidst adversity like Acrassicauda in Baghdad. So do your humanitarian duty for our oppressed brothers and sisters in Iran: stop downloading wussy Jack Johnson iTunes and pick up some Dragonforce and Hammerfall to help spread the metal militia worldwide.

Bonus: There's been scholarly research done on this subject as well.

Somali Pirates to Get Blasted with 140db of Angus

The Telegraph reports that the U.S. Navy is seeking non-lethal methods to fight piracy involving AC/DC:

A second system, the Long Range Acoustic Device targets a suspect with a 500 yard beam of excruciating noise. Sailors can attach the device to an Ipod or MP3 player to repel pirate boats with renditons such as Hells Bells by the heavy metal group AC:DC.

International navies are having some recent successes against the pirates, but pumping out AC/DC might not have the desired effect. Have you ever heard Angus' intro to Thunderstruck, it's pretty bad ass! The ATF tried using Jingle Bell Rock to flush out the Branch Davidians, and even that didn't work. Allow me to suggest piping the tune "Jesus is My Friend" from our Naval forces. No person could survive 30 seconds of this (h/t Sisu):

90s Dance Party

Amidst the Clinton-era retro going on in the Obama campaign, Subrookie was itching for a 90s dance thread by linking to a chintzy Third Eye Blind tune, but I'll do you one better and put together a full-on dance party. So bust out the Doc Martens and give yourself a flat top for these hot licks:

EMF - Unbelievable (why did these guys only have one song!)


Le Click - Tonight is the Night (awesome Eurotrash music)


DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince - Summertime (before Rap got all mean and nasty)


Technotronic - Move This (they don't make em like this anymore)

Slam Dancing to the Classix

Take your electric slide somewhere else, this is the only way to dance at a show.