Public Service Announcement From LT Nixon's Mother

My Mother is one of those ladies who volunteers at the polling stations to hand out the "I Voted" stickers and to make sure there's no hanky-panky going on in the booth. She wrote this in recent snail-mail correspondence:

I'm resting up for the chaos I'm sure I'll find at my poll on election day. I remember how depressed I was when Clinton was elected in 1992. It's Deja Vu all over again.

With Obama currently ahead 174-49 based on the CNN electoral map, I blame you, America, for hurting my mother's feelings. Foreshame!!

Vote, Stupid!

It's Gonna Get Ugly

In case you hadn't heard, there's an election tomorrow or something. So don't forget to exercise your right to write-in crazy people and dead celebrities for the local offices no one cares about like County Judicial Treasurer. And don't forget to vote for who will lead America into it's inevitable malaise. If you're a low information voter, remember that even though Obama had the cheeky Barack O'Bollywood video and McCain was endorsed by McBain, Bob Barr got to meet Borat. The Borat! Too bad it's not 2006, that would have given him a serious bump.

Anyways, the voiced in my head are saying the election is a pretty big deal, so here's the same song I listened to before final exams in college and before going out to sea. It's The Final Countdown by Europe, and since the band is named after a geographic location (like Boston, Kansas, Chicago, and Asia) it has to be good. Also the mullets are epic:



Subrookie wanted a thread to leave comments as he fights off the Hope and Change hordes storming his domicile in Seattle. Hang in there, bro, it's going to be a rough few years!

Al-Masri Must Be Arabic for "Just Kill Me"

Recently, a top Al-Qaeda propaganda maestro was killed in by a UAV strike in North Waziristan [AFP]:

An Egyptian Al-Qaeda operative -- described by the United States as the terror network's propaganda chief -- was killed in a missile strike in Pakistan, security officials said on Saturday.

Abu Jihad al-Masri was among several rebels killed when two missiles fired by a suspected US spy drone hit a truck in the North Waziristan tribal region bordering Afghanistan on Friday night, they said.

This is Abu Jihad Al-Masri, not to be confused with Abu Khabab Al-Masri, the "Mad Scientist" of Al-Qaeda, who was killed in an airstrike in July. Then there was the commander Abu Saeed Al-Masri, shot dead by the Pakistani military in August. Also, don't forget Abu Obaidah Al-Masri, who died of natural causes. And then their is the leader of the Islamic State of Iraq, Abu Ayub Al-Masri, who sucks at his job so bad that Zawahiri sent him a nasty letter, and even he has been confused for being dead or captured a couple of times.

Keeping up with all the permutations of "Al-Masri" in the "who's who of terrorism" can give someone a headache worse than trying to remember all the Chets at the yachting regatta. The name Al-Masri, which actually means The Egyptian in Arabic, can best be associated with the red-shirted extras on Star Trek for simplification purposes. They usually don't stick around for the next episode.

What is this otter trying to prove?

I'm on to you, otter. You can't speak, so why are you putting your fins up to your mouth as if you want to focus your screaming on someone far away? ANSWER THE QUESTION OTTER! There's only one explanation here. You want my heart to melt into a puddle of water. Well, it's not going to work, otter. So you can go to hell.

Late Nite Tunes: Johnny Cash - I've Been Everywhere

Blogging might be a bit lite as I have to going to the Navy's "How to be a Civilian" class (formally known as Transition Assistance Program). I'm guessing they tell you not to obsessively call your boss "sir" or "ma'am" and that bragging to your co-workers about the STDs you contracted in the PI might be considered a "faux pas" in the real world. Anyhoo, I have no idea how late this wingding goes, but I'll try and post something in the evening. As for the election...vote early and vote often. It's gonna be a wild one.

How To Break the Internet: The Stranger Hell Houses Edition

A reader, who shall remain nameless so that he doesn't get a brick through his windshield, passed me a tip yesterday regarding Seattle's The Stranger publishing photos of houses with McCain-Palin and Dino Rossi signs (Dino Rossi is the GOP candidate for Guv'nah). The piece was poking fun at these residences for being "Hell Houses" for daring to post pro-GOP signs amidst a country being swept up in Hope N' Change. That's all fun and games as far as liberal hipsterism goes, but they definitely crossed the line by publishing the addresses of the residences, which could potentially lead to vandalism/death threats/etc. against private WA citizens. I passed the tip along to Van Helsing, who has a blog devoted to some of the ridiculous antics of the left. The story was picked up by some of the big-time right-wing bloggers like Instapundit, Drudge, Ace of Spades, and Little Green Footballs, because it was a sad display of a news outlet engaging in brownshirt-like tactics to intimidate political opposition.

I'm usually a big fan of The Stranger's snark and tips about what's happenin' in Seattle, so I initially felt a bit of guilt that their website getting flooded with 1000+ comments, and the fact that they had to redirect the Hell Houses piece to Drudge (pdf version available here). But picking up a copy of this week's print edition of The Stranger, their attempts to scrub the website amidst immense criticism are in vain, because the story has already hit kiosks throughout the Puget Sound. Check it out:

Cover of Oct 30 - Nov 5 issue advertises Hell Houses piece (unsurprisingly, the outlet endorses "That One" for Prez)

Addresses of homes have been blacked out by yours truly, but you can see they were in large font. The convenient inset map with numbers in the upper-right was not included on the web version.
You get the idea...

This is bullshit. It's a moot point who your candidate is or what platform you support. No American deserves to be intimidated with thug-like tactics designed to persuade voting patterns or to silence opposition. Whether it's throwing moltovs at politically-minded supporters or using the internet to plan the assassination of a presidential candidate, take that shit somewhere else, like Zimbabwe or Venezuela.

Over here, Rabbit!

On second thought, you better HOPE you don't look over this way, or you are in REAL FUCKING TROUBLE with your ears and your little bunny nose. You know what, rabbit? DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. Just get out of my sight, rabbit. You disgust me.