Jaded hipster owls think they've seen it all

Owls are always making snarky fucking asides like they're above it all. A perfect example of this was the other day. We were eating some really good watermelon sorbet together, and I was like, "Is this great or what?" and this owl gave me this look and said, "What." (He actually said "who," but I'm pretty sure that was just his lame meta-commentary on the commonness of the actual "What" joke.) The fucked up thing about it was that it was some seriously good watermelon sorbet, too, so there's no way he wasn't enjoying that shit.

So I was all, "I should already expect it from owls, but you're a real piece of work even for your species, with the curved beak and the silent judging. Sorry I'm just a person and you get to be inherently wise just because you can turn your head around to look behind your shoulders, Owl. IT'S NOT A CRIME TO OPEN YOURSELF UP TO NEW EXPERIENCES, ASSHOLE." Then they made me leave the gelato store, which was fine with me because there were owl pellets everywhere and that has to be a health violation.