Since many of us are all about the self-deprecation, and Rodney Dangerfield is the king of hilarity (R.I.P.), here are a list of one-liners to employ in regards to getting no respect:
- I tried to file a TBI claim at the VA, they told me I was too crazy and threw me in a room with padded walls and a helmet
- I asked the bartender how much for a gin and tonic, he said 5 bucks, I told him I just got back from Iraq, then he said it'd be 10 and spit on me
- My girlfriend said I was lousy at sex, I said sorry and told her I had PTSD, she went and got checked for VD and then dumped me
- I went to go collect my GI Bill at school, they told me to get in the wrong line when I showed up at their office, the next thing you know I'm landing in Helmland province with an M-4 and IBA, how the hell did I end up there
- I went looking for a job downtown, the interviewer asked me what I did in the Navy, I said I worked in engineering, so they locked me in a dark room for 18 hours a day turning wrenches and paid me 3 bucks an hour, which is still better than being in the Navy
- I met this beautiful woman who worked as a news anchor, she said to take her out to dinner in my uniform, I showed up to the restaurant and the next thing you know I'm on CNN in the "War Crimes Trial of the Century" with cameras in my face, I get no respect around here
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