Fat Axl to Finally Release Chinese Democracy

Mark your calendars for Nov. 25th and hope that you live near a Best Buy, because that's when Guns N' Roses will finally release probably the most expensive and longest awaited album in history, Chinese Democracy. Unless you don't live in Real America (yeah, that's an asshole comment, but I said it), you'll fondly remember your awkward teenaged-years with the cocaine-themed tune Night Train to the more somber Don't Cry to the hard-hitting Nice Boys Don't Play Rock N' Roll. But can this much anticipated album deliver the fist-pumping, head-banging music that we need in our cultural vacuum of wussness? The Toronto Star is skeptical:

The single itself is a bit underwhelming, building from a portentous intro fraught with babbling voices to a massive, punched guitar riff that recalls a downtuned version of the Scorpions' "Rock You Like a Hurricane" but then never quite following up with a proper, hard-hitting chorus.

Oh man, the lead single sounding like The Scorpions, but they suck! Tracks have leaked over the years, and they have been a bit underwhelming. Perhaps it is because Guns n' Roses is from another era when the hair was big n' teased, the music on the Sunset Strip was loud, and America was feeling good about itself. Trying to teleport music that defined a generation from one era to another is about as cool as the Rolling Stones hobbling around on stage with their walkers. The Guns N' Roses album might be halfway decent, but rocking out to it may have to involve delusional mind in still thinking it's 1991 and the airbrushed wolf on your El Camino is a chick magnet. Also Slash got kicked to the curb, so it just won't be the same...