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[On December 27, 2008, the United States Military received a transmission from Fuck You, Penguin. Based on the evidence, the NSA was able to pair the information with what they believed was an accurate depiction of what FUP was witnessing at the moment just before communication went dead. Fuck You, Penguin would return on January 5, 2009, but with no memory of the events that had led to the disappearance, or any recollection of the transmission. The following is a complete transcript of the message for your eyes only.]



So... mad... Pandas... helping other pandas... play in the snow... oh god... THEY ARE BABIES... must. stop. cuteness... fuck you... panda assholes...[/end transmission]