Short Timers Syndrome

Suspect spoofs the Code of Conduct to apply to military folks about to separate that anyone who has gotten out can appreciate:

Article I.
I am an American short-timer. I serve in the forces into which I was so carelessly drafted/enlisted/recalled/stop-lossed. I am prepared to leave them at the time so designated by the Department of the Army, or sooner if at all possible.

Article II.
I will never extend or re-enlist of my own free will. If I am in command, I will never allow my fellow short-timers to fraternize with the lifers.

Article III.
If I am called before the Commanding Officer, I will continue to resist his re-enlistment talks by all means available. I will make every effort to escape.

Article IV.
If I should become the victim of an involuntary extension, I will keep the faith with my fellow short-timers. If I am the shortest, I will assume command; if not, I will obey the shortest.

Article V.
When questioned, should I become the object of a re-enlistment interview, I am bound to give only my name, rank, service number, date of birth and date I am due to be discharged.

Article VI.
I will never forget that I am an American short-timer, responsible for my actions, and dedicated to the principles which have made carefree, happy civilians out of thousands of short-timers before me.

If you are getting out and are not a complete shitbag, prepare to be talked to by no less than 100 or so senior enlisted and officers about why "staying in" is the way to go. You'll also hear stories about guys who got out, had to go live in a trash can like Oscar the grouch, and wish they never left the military. But stay strong! You did your time and a career in the service isn't for everybody.