Media Coverage of Phelps Smoking Weed Reveals They Are Complete Squares

Judging by some of these media bylines, you'd think that the only exposure to stoner culture these people had was watching Reefer Madness while attending an anti-drug symposium at Oral Roberts University. CNN writes that "Phelps Admits Bad Judgment After Marijuana-Pipe Photo", and the AP writes that "Phelps Acknowledges Pot Pipe". Regardless of whether or not you get high, referring to a bong as a "Pot Pipe" will make you a pariah at the house party faster than dropping a toilet-clogging deuce.

Like it or not, weed has been an important part of our cultural landscape that has spanned at least three generations. From Scooby-Doo to the famous stoned Mac user chick to Harold and Kumar, it's hazy outreach is undeiable. And, ignorance of the proper terminology in inexcusable. So here's a brief tutorial:

That's Phelps smoking a bong, and possibly carbing to get that monster rip.

That's a pipe, often referred to as a "bowl" (at least when I grew up).

That's a hallowed-out apple, which can be used in a pinch if your snooping folks stole all your zig-zags, but isn't for the novice.

And that's the stoned pizza guy who'll be delivering your Super Bowl double pepperoni special. Best to give him an understanding nod of approval of his wake-n-bake activities lest you be labeled "uncool" by the staff at Dominos.