Thursday, February 5, 2009

Take the broccoli. Leave my dignity.


Why, Hamster, why? I am but one poor soul, trying to make my way in the world. I do what every decent citizen is supposed to do. I call my grandmother on her birthday. I recycle whenever there is a recycling bin on my side of the room. For a living, I run a modest blog, where every morning I get up and try to give a little back to the world.

So why do you have to be such a soul-crushing asshole? It's just broccoli, Hamster, I'm not really sure why you are all "Broccoli?! Wow, I never expected broccoli!" Everyone knows hamsters love broccoli. You are not fooling anyone. So my only guess as to why you are making that face is that you are actively trying to destroy me. Well fuck you, Hamster. Because I've got the broccoli now. Or something. Shut up.

Please just go.

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