Friday, May 8, 2009

Moles have comically low expectations of themselves


Oh, hooray, Mole. You made it out of the ground. Why are you so excited? DO YOU WANT A FUCKING MEDAL? Pretty pathetic, Mole. First of all, you are a mole, it's kind of like a dolphin being impressed it can swim. And second, being blind doesn't count as a disability in moles. Maybe if you were driving or operating heavy machinery the look of pride and joy on your face at the moment would be understandable. But at this point, this is standard meat and potatoes mole stuff, dude. So just because you're making me share in your joy doesn't mean I'm going to let you get away with it. I'd stay underground until I had a clear life plan moving forward if I were you, Mole.

And please, nail clippers. They are like a dollar. Don't tell me you're too lazy to use a shovel.

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