Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Baby aardvark breaks email


What are you, Aardvark, some kind of anarchist Marxist fascist? Obviously, you must have known that uploading this picture of yourself onto the internet would single-handedly bring down the modern world. Moments after this baby updated its Facebook profile, millions of people stopped what they were doing to email this picture to everyone they knew. MANY OF THEM WERE GRANDMOTHERS, AARDVARK, WITH NO DEFENSE AGAINST YOUR POWERS. Have you no shame? We are already in a depression, Aardvark, what more do you want from us?

Wait a second. Solitary and nocturnal. Doesn't eat fruit. "An aardvark emerges from its burrow in the late afternoon or shortly after sunset, and forages over a considerable home range encompassing 10 to 30 kilometers, swinging its long nose from side to side to pick up the scent of food." It's an entire species of hackers! More snouts and tails and giant feet and wrinkly skin and goofy ears are coming, UPDATE YOUR NORTON SOFTWARE PEOPLE.

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