Monday, June 1, 2009

Baby flying squirrels: a mini-9/11 in your hand


Flying Squirrel, you are a fucking disaster. There's so much wrong with this photo, it's hard to know where to begin. But let's just start with the fact that you can FIT INSIDE A FUCKING LADY'S HAND AND STILL HAVE ENOUGH SPACE LEFT OVER FOR YOUR WHISKERS. I know you think your curled up little tail is going to melt hearts everywhere, but it just looks to me like you're trying to make us forget you can't actually fly. STOP TRYING TO GET AWAY WITH AN INFLATED SENSE OF SELF.

You know, I used to think it was the skin around their legs that made squirrels able to glide through the air, but I'm pretty sure once you get this fucking ridiculous you can float on big-eye-and-little-paw power alone. Just remember to enjoy it while you can, Flying Squirrel, because you're going to get older, and if you don't have your feet on the ground, there's going to be a big wake up call, and it won't involve me feeding you acorns.

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