Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Tigers are destined to live with regrets


Tigers can be real badasses, just ask that one dude in Vegas. So it's always embarrassing for them when they are reminded of their past as tiger cubs, doing fucked-up shit like biting tree trunks and refusing to grow into their already ridiculously large paws. This tiger looks like she just woke up in bed next to a lion (we all know where that leads and where it ends), but really she's just remembering what a cute-wielding little bastard she used to be.

Sorry, Tiger, you made certain choices when you were younger, and you are just going to have to deal with them. Some of them you can manage, like for example you can get simple surgery now to remove that Chinese symbol for "harmony" from your lower back. But photos? Once they get out, they are around forever. My best advice would be to just put it behind you and try to keep your head held high. And while I can't entirely forget what you've done, I understand that you are trying to change your life and live for a brighter tomorrow, and that's what Fuck You, Penguin is all about. Now don't ever have children, you'll ruin everything.

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